Moonflower Moments

Welcome to Moonflower Moments, a time in our lives that is filled with opportunities, adventures, and anxiety about getting older and wondering what the future may bring. If you like to look at statistics, the current lifespan in the United States for men is approximately 74 and 79 for women. There are, however; more and more instances of people living to be 100 and then some. I have always believed that chronological age is simply a number that reflects the years that we have been here, but not always our mental mindset.

I am currently 68 years old, and if I only looked at statistical averages, I might be looking at what is commonly referred to as “the twilight years.” I choose to look at this from the perspective of “how old do you feel mentally?” In that case, I would say that I am somewhere in my 30’s, without all the baggage that I carried at that time. This helps me to accept the changes in my body simply by adjusting my mindset.

My mother is currently 101 in chronological years, incredibly active and alert. People are amazed when they meet her and want to know if she has found “the fountain of youth” for which the rest of us have been searching. She is the first to admit that she doesn’t know why she has outlived all her siblings, both older and younger. Her husband has been deceased for over 30 years and she has attended the funerals of three of her grandchildren. This can be attributed to genetics, as her father lived into his late 90’s in relatively good health. That is certainly a factor, but I think that there is more to her story. She has the mindset of someone much younger and greets each day with optimism for the joy that it brings. She is the epitome of someone who embraces a “moonflower moment.”

So, What is a “Moonflower Moment”?

The moonflower has always fascinated me. It grows on a vine that reaches skyward and produces beautiful white flowers that only bloom at night, when the rest of the garden is in sleep mode. It is a bit of a mystery, how it defies the way in which we look at flowers. I like to use its beauty and mystery as I look at growing older and choose to embrace this time in my life as an adventure. So many people focus on the negative aspects of getting older, why not look at some of the positive ones. My mother looks at life this way at 101, so why not employ some of this positive energy in my daily life.

Sure, getting older can be scary. I look in the mirror some days and see a woman that I have trouble recognizing. During the Covid shutdowns, I was not able to go to the salon to have color put on my hair, so I decided to let nature take over and see what happens. My hair is now a beautiful shade of grey, and I no longer must endure long salon visits to have color applied. Of course, there are lines and wrinkles. I grew up in Florida and spent many days at the beach enjoying the sunshine, sand, and surf while I bathed my skin with “suntan lotion” rather than sunscreen. Now, I wear sunscreen and go for regular skin checks with the dermatologist. On a recent visit there, my mother and I went in together. As our doctor addressed our skin issues, I told him that if I looked as good as my mother does at 101 then I would be happy. His reply was that if he lived that long, he wouldn’t care what he looked like. On the way home, I asked my mother if she regretted those days at the beach and being outside without the benefit of sunscreen. She and I both agreed that those days were special and that we would probably go back and do the same thing all over again.

As I talk to people in my age group, I often find people who are afraid of retirement. For so many of us, our career is who we are and when that ends, we feel lost and alienated from the life we knew before. It is not easy to start over, but the adventure awaits us all. What do we do with these “bonus years” that we have been given? That is where “moonflower moments” step in, with mystery and adventure. This is our special time to reflect, to embrace the future, and discover what we can find and share to create a new vision for our lives.

As you join me on this journey, we will explore many paths that can lead to new adventures. I have combined three of the areas that I have explored in my retirement years and want to share with you. I am a writer, a gardener and someone who is navigating this journey with insights from others who are on the same journey. Yes, aging does bring its own issues and we are all in various stages of age-related maladies and health concerns. We have experienced joy, and we have experienced loss, but each day is a blank page that waits for our input before it is complete. How do want to fill these pages? It is my fervent hope that you will be inspired by this blog and that you will be able to embrace many “moonflower moments” of your own.