Moonflower Moments

 It is tempting to fall into the trap of making New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of each calendar year.  After an indulgent holiday season, we make plans to exercise more, eat more fruits and vegetables, or take up a hobby we want to try. Bookstores are full of books about lifestyle changes that will help readers achieve these goals, while reducing anxiety and becoming more productive in the process. Information is abundant on making positive changes in our lives for the coming year, and it is difficult to hone in on a specific thing we want to change to achieve the life we think we should be living.

   In my life journey, I have learned that I do better by establishing a theme at the beginning of the year and incorporating any changes that I want to make within that theme. Last year, my theme was simply learning to breathe.  I let the breath guide me through each day, beginning with a morning meditation, and setting an intention to let calmness guide me through the day.  Through this practice, I was able to reduce stress and its effect on my physical and mental health. This year, I will practice “letting go.” 

   I will scrutinize the things I have collected over time and those I no longer need.  These things are taking up “valuable real estate” in my home and in my mind, as I consider letting them go. I will incorporate the wisdom from two books that will guide me in this practice.  Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff, by Matt Paxton, and Finding Your Walden, by Jen Tota McGivney.  Both books focus on downsizing, but approach the topic in different ways.

    Paxton has established a business to help people who are trying to downsize their lives, usually to move to a smaller place.  He spends time with his clients to get to know them and their tendencies to hang on to things that they seldom use.  He asks his clients about their reasons for downsizing and their plans for the future.  Once these plans are made clear, they provide a clear map for how to move forward. This information is extremely valuable for the increasing population of seniors facing future decisions of whether to move into retirement communities or stay in their homes.  The book is packed with valuable information to help make these decisions and includes resources for selling or donating items.

    Migivney shares her insight on Thoreau in Revisiting Walden regarding the economics of life and how we can identify the true cost of material things.  Most of our lives are spent working to pay for the things that we choose to purchase.  We need a place to live, food to eat, and essential utilities to survive.  To pay for these essentials, we have jobs for which we are paid a salary. Consumerism then takes hold of our lives, with the cycle of purchasing things and needing to work more hours to afford them.  From a purely economic standpoint, there is a true cost/ benefit analysis. This gave me new insight into the things in my life that take up so much space.  I worked long hours, sometimes doing things that I did not enjoy, to pay for things that I purchased.  I now understand that these things were controlling me, and that they continue to do so by taking up so much space in my mind. 

   Another area I will address involves situations from my past that still linger in my mind, causing me to question if I might have handled them better.  This includes past relationships and encounters with people and situations contemplated from time to time.  While it is tempting to ask if I should have handled these better, I realize that I am a human being who must make decisions. This includes past relationships, where my feelings were hurt, and the pain remains.  I have learned that when people hurt your feelings with their actions, it is not always about you. Most of the time, it is about them and something that they are missing in their lives.  You are merely a target for their own frustrations.

   There is a game that I remember from childhood that begins with, “I am going on a trip, and in my suitcase I am going to pack this item.”  The other players add items that must be repeated in sequence until someone cannot recall them all.  This year, I am playing this game in reverse.  I will unpack items that are weighing me down, whether they be material or emotional.  My suitcase has become too heavy, and I feel a need to lighten the load for my journey ahead.